I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
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