I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
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