so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
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