How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
i think i have herpe
just one?
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
Randomize
