hotel room ftw
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
Randomize
