I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
Randomize
