I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Randomize
