Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
