So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Randomize
