No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
