3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
Randomize
