Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
i came on her dog
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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