Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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