I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
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