She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
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