I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
Randomize
