Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Randomize
