im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
Randomize
