I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
Randomize
