How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Randomize
