these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
I will pee on everything he values.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
Randomize
