even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
I need a hoe opinion
go on
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
