he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Randomize
