are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
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