What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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