Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
What a dumb baby whore.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Randomize