And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
Randomize
