I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
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