one might say we're banned from that church
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
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