My pussy is not your playground.
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
Got wasted in a little tiki hut by the beach yesterday. Woke up with a coconut and half of a mushroom burger in my purse. I also have a picture of our Romanian bartender's fingernails on my phone lol
Why do you always wake up with meat in your purse?
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
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