she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
Randomize
