Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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