Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Randomize
