the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
