Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
the liver wants what the liver wants
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
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