I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
Randomize
