dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
Is it penis luge time yet?
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
