Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
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