I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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