I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
Randomize