is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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