it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
