The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
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