So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
Randomize
