I like my sex mixed with concussions.
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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