all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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