how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
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