eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
Staff meetings will be awkward since my boss and I both did the new intern
Maybe she doesn’t know you did him
Oh she definitely knows - it was a threesome
Please tell me you’re not taking life advice from porn scripts again
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