I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
Randomize
