I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
