My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
Randomize
