I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
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