There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
My Higher Power is John Stamos
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
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