I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Randomize
