I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
why is half of my head shaved?
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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