Will you blow on my dice?
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
it was like having sex with a tree stump
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
