Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
Randomize
