She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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