Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Randomize
