Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
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