So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
she was so not down for the gang bang
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
