you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
i need to put some appletini on your dick
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
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