Sponge bath it is.
I'll bet she douches with gravy.
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
Randomize
