I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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