We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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