Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
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