we're blogging at a bar
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
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