Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
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