Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
Randomize
