Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Randomize
