and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
Randomize
