so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
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